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Phrases & Quotes -
Humorous |
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A truly happy person is one
who can enjoy the scenery while on detox. |
Unknown |
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I am an ordinarily patient
person, provided I get my way in the end. |
Unknown |
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Every morning I get up and
look through the BRW list of the richest people in Australia. If I'm not
there, I go to work. |
Unknown |
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I took an IQ test and the results were negative. |
Unknown |
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School days are the happiest days of your life,
provided of course that your kids are old enough to go. |
Unknown |
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You don't have to drive me crazy, I'm close enough to
walk. |
Unknown |
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All my life I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see
that I should have been more specific. |
Lily Tomlin |
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It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply
to serve as a warning to others. |
Unknown |
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If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport. |
Unknown |
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Whoever says money can't buy happiness, doesn't know
where to shop. |
Donald Trump |
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Life is cheap. It's the accessories that kill you. |
Unknown |
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I don't repeat gossip, so I listen good the first
time. |
Unknown |
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Give a man an inch and he thinks he's a ruler. |
Unknown |
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We have a strange and wonderful relationship.
You're strange and I'm wonderful. |
Unknown |
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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy
people? |
Unknown |
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Where there's a will, there's a relative. |
Unknown |
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I'd like mornings better if they started later. |
Unknown |
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I can't be creative and neat at the same time. |
Unknown |
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Give a man fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him
how to fish and and you get rid of him on weekends |
Unknown |
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Birthdays are good for you. The more you have the
longer you live. |
Unknown |
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I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of
it. |
Unknown |
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A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory. |
Unknown |
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Just when you think you've seen it all...you try on
your bathing suit. |
Unknown |
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I gave up shopping once, it was the worst 15 minutes
of my life. |
Unknown |
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The man who said it can't be done... should not
interrupt the woman doing it. |
Unknown |
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A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. |
Unknown |
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An economist is someone who, having heard that
something works in practice, then says 'Ah, but will it work in theory?' |
Unknown |
| Of all the things
I've lost, the one I miss most is my mind. |
Unknown |
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Women over 50 don't have babies because they would
put them down and forget where they left them. |
Unknown |
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One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of
chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs |
Unknown |
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My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves
completely |
Unknown |
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The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear
tight shoes |
Unknown |
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The nice part about living in a small town is that
when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does |
Unknown |
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The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight
because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends |
Unknown |
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Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came
today |
Unknown |
| Sometimes I think I
understand everything, then I regain consciousness |
Unknown |
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I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept
rubbing together and setting my pantihose on fire |
Unknown |
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Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a
while and it shrinks 2 sizes! |
Unknown |
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The trouble with some women is that they get all
excited about nothing and then marry him |
Unknown |
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Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of most women.
However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses |
Ivern Boyett |
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